My last post was about the questions that I would love to ask if people don’t start judging me 😛. My friend Nitin who blogs at NitinNairWrites, posted more questions that we would love to ask. I really liked the questions he came up with. You can read (and ask them to real people if you want to) by visiting his blog.
After all this, I was thinking what if all of you posted some sarcastic questions on situations that annoy you. Just ping me back and I would surely read your post.
Many drivers in traffic honk so much, I think they believe that by honking the car in front of them will vanish into thin air. I want to ask them, “Are you a wizard or what?” It goes to the next level when I see somebody honking at a red signal. You can totally imagine that, can’t you?
Many people think that pressing the elevator button repeatedly will make it reach faster to your floor. To them I want to ask, “Are you a VIP or something?”
When I was on my adventure to buy a new smartphone, almost every shopkeeper persuaded me to buy an Android phone even when I insisted on buying a Windows one. To them I want to ask, “Why do you even keep Windows Phone stock in the first place? And who are you to persuade me? An Android ambassador? Were you sponsored by Google?”
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
“Hey Dan, stay on the lookout. It seems that the crows are preparing for a fight.”
“Aye aye, captain.”
Two terrorists were having a discussion in a bar. The waiter asked them what the discussion was about.
Terrorist: “We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.”
Waiter: “Why a donkey?”
Then the second terrorist says to the first: “See, I told you nobody would care about those 14 thousand people!”
They’re just using to you so that they can start me up.
They are just using you to start a connection with me.
They are just searching for me through you.
They’re only using you to get to me.
They’re just using you.
Sincerely, Home Work.
Dear Home Work,
They do you so that they can get me.
They get you because they want to through me.
They pass through you just so that they make me.
They make you just so that they can pay my bills.
Daily Prompt – Tell us about a conversation you couldn’t help but overhear and wish you hadn’t.
Me sitting in the bus heading towards my college and a stranger sitting besides me. The phone rings and the conversation starts. (Note that every other line is just my guess at what the guy on the other side might have asked).
“Yo! How are you?”
“Fine. What about you?”
“Nice. So how come you called me so early in the morning.”
“Nothing big. I just wanted to ask how do I convert a video file in my computer.”
“That isn’t a problem. Click the ‘Folder Options’ from the ‘Tools’ menu in your file explorer. Then navigate to the ‘View’ tab and down below you will see an option which says ‘Hide extensions for known file types’. Uncheck it and press ‘OK’.”
Until this point I thought, “What the hell is he talking about? What has extension visibility got to do with video conversion?”
Then he continued, “Then select your video file and press ‘F2’. Place your cursor at the last place and delete those few characters that are after the period symbol and instead insert the extension of your choice and press ‘Enter’. That’s it, video converted.”
And he hung up. I was flabbergasted and only one thought came to my mind, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, “Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”